How about you? What do you do? Here are some good ways I think the season could be beefed up.
1) try being extra thoughtful and self-sacrificing. Maybe that means letting some one else have that last piece, or it means rejoicing with others, or something like that.
2) Mount a bear trap in the fireplace. Trust me, it will not be as homey as a roaring fire, but it’s sure to be more entertaining.
3) Eat venison every year. Shoot it yourself. Just look on the roof.
4) Give gifts four days after the aforementioned date which is commonly called Christmas. Believe, you will get more for less. Make sure you buy some of those glass balls. There are fun to break.
5) Play “Christmas Bingo”. just take a little note pad, and after so many references to Santa, St. Nick, The Grinch, Frosty the Snowman, Louis Armstrong, or Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, leap up and yell, “It’s X-Mas, not Christmas.”
6) or even X-Men. See previous.
7) No toys. Give the gift of food.
8 ) Hug the relative you like the least.
9) Have an eating contest. Whoever eats the most store bought icing cookies wins! Don’t participate, just watch.
10) If you can, take some snow and put it on top of the ceiling fan. If you let it melt, it will work just as well, only on a more centralized area.
11) Write a corny poem. Something like,
It was the night before Christmas, and all through our home,
The smell of hot plastic was beginning to roam.
The guests in on the couch were screaming with fright,
The tree was melting, from a short-circuited light.
This Christmas, we’re sure, was very ill-fated;
The stockings and candy were now incinerated.
At least all the food, fire would not attack,
Cause big uncle Bob had made a late midnight snack.
The dogs had stopped barking, their job was well done,
Cause Santa, and Rudolf, were making a run….
And so on. It will be fun, but don’t expect to be encored. Or invited back.
12) Anyone who dares use Christmas as an excuse to make fun of the Puritans, throw them in the freezing pond. (and add, “Here, ya’ can take yer tree with ye!!” and throw the tree in. But keep the presents.)
13) Raise a toast to the loving parents and Grandparents who make the long drive worthwhile.
14) Anyone who says presents before the meal should be spanked.
15) have a whip cream fight.
16) Play some games together. Try, ‘Pin the wanted poster on the Nazi’. use a large poster of Santa for this one.
17) Watch the scariest version of, “A Christmas Carol” that you can find.
18) And whatever you do, Don’t run into your Grandparents big Dog on the sled, and especially avoid having the dog fall on top of you and ride the rest of the way. It can be painful and awkward for both man and beast. Take it form someone who knows.