goodbye. hello.

so much is changed, but I feel the same, I feel the same. (Sorta kinda): there is something extra significant today. Something gives me the feeling that I can get away with doing nothing, but I don’t want to. In fact, I’m in a mess trying to decide what to do today, out of a mountain of options, and the conclusion I inevitably come to is, “Man, I wish my mountain were higher.”
I couldn’t fit everything into one post. I will be writing other new year’s post. I’ll probably be done by June (2010)
Why is today so significant? Could it be that thing about 2008 being completely over? Nah, ‘08 begun just a few weeks ago. We still have a ways to go. I think.
I guess I may as well accept it. 2008 is gone forever, and the elusive 2009 is here. Moment of silence. (Hee-Ahhh). Now let’s party!

Actually, I don’t really feel like it. Really, what can I feel, but the desire to sit back and look upon the past year with dissatisfied gratitude, and look at the new one with fearful boldness? On the one hand, I feel as though I made a muck of 2-0-8. There is so much more I would have liked to get done. There is so much physical, mental and spiritual progress that I feel is lying there neglected, never to be used because I passed it by.

But that’s really not the case, despite what I divine from the battle between pessimism and optimism within me. When I look at it with my gaze towards Christ, everything looks different. (Yes, I haven’t even mentioned the most important part of this all till now. That’s because these thoughts really have nothing to do with Christ. They were all based on my own disappointment). I just need to look at where I was last year. This was my first full year as a follower of Christ. Day by day nowadays (did that sound redundant?), I feel as though I were behind in sanctification or something like that (though Christ has never failed in sufficiency). But really, Christ has been so good, and shown me so much of Himself over these last Twelve months that it’s overwhelming. And I know it’s nothing to do with me. If it were, I would lose hope at the prospect of a another year. But if Christ has already done so much, what will he do next? It’s exciting. (As a side note, I was saying something similar to a dear Brother of mine back on my fifteenth birthday. I said something of the grace that Christ had shown me, but was quick to add, “I’m not trying to brag, though. It was all Christ.” His reply was overwhelming. “I know,” he said. “Beggars who have been fed do not brag.”) Really, I think I have changed more in every sense (err- except that physical part) this year than any other year since infancy (those would be hard to top). Two-thousand and eight has been the one of the fullest years of my life, thanks to Christ, and to Him working through people like my parents and Christian friends. Growing closer to my brothers and sisters and friends at home and Church, exposing full-blast to so much on the trip to Ethiopia, and bringing a new little brother into my life would just name a precious few. Throughout the year, my morning has been ever more joyful.

Christ has brought me through every laugh, and every bitter and painful tear, guided completely by His loving hand. It wasn’t long into the year -near the end of January to be exact- that he brought me through the hardest trial my young faith had or has ever experienced. But on the other hand, He showed me joy that I had never imagined. And it wasn’t just me. I guess that there are many, especially among my friends and family, that could honestly say that, for one reason or another hundred, 2008 was the best year that had ever experienced.

Now, looking ahead, into that impenetrable mist that we call the future, I have no idea how things are going to go. I have more resolutions this year than ever before, but honestly, I still wait to find out if I will wake up alive tomorrow. This nation has a new president (I won’t ruin this by typing his name). but remember, whatever this new year has, Christ has planned the absolute best for His children, and He will bring it to pass. The trick is learning not to despair. To depend upon Him. I hope that in this year, He will show infinitely more of Himself to you than you could ever have imagined. Remember, His grace and mercy, which was sufficient for 2008, is sufficient for. So let us look to Christ, press on, and tell the new year, “Bring it on!”

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