the twilight zone… (or: an obnoxious pot declares an infamous kettle “black”)

“Do not ajust your URL. We are in Control….”

   People used to vote with balls; now we have polling machines. Used to be, if people wanted music, they had to go to concerts or taverns: now we have iPods (and phones). If people wanted pictures, they had to paint or sculpt; now we have cameras (and phones). If people wanted visual entertainment, they had to go to plays (or taverns); now we have movies in hi-def (and phones). Used to be, if people wanted friendship, they have to meet and get to know people; now, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we have Facebook (on our phones).

   Modern technology makes things so much easier: before movies were invented, watching them was so hard. And now that we have Faceboook, and we can keep up with our friends, and make new ones without even leaving our office chairs. No more need to argue: we’ll just talk about non-controversial stuff. And for those of you who cannot resist arguing, at least it will not turn to anything physical. Hopefully.

   And, if you do happen to run into your best friend in person, (like when you go to the store to earplugs for further transendance into friendship, and less involvement in in materialistic noises of the non-virtual realm), there’s no bother with names and such: you already know them. The only confusion will be when you find out that your best friend has arms and legs, and not just a face. (“Oh yeah,” you recall. “I remember her telling me, and 550 other people, that she was going for a manicure.”)

   By the way, about the arms and legs thing, that explains why those old days people had busts: they would send them as representations of their “face” when they mailed status updates to each other. Back then, Facebook was only for the rich.

   “You got a friend in me.”

   Another disadvantage the old days people had was that local law enforcement, such as Barney, had very strict rules about not writing on the wall: these days, it is not only allowed, but encouraged so you can enjoy more meaningful friendships.  Now we understand that those babies in the nursury were just trying to connect, since they were below thirteen.

   Facebook allows us to enjoys the joys of friendship like never before, and comparatively few of the glitches involved.  And who knows, you might find out you like your roommate; you may even fall in love. Just as a reminder though, if you marry, in order to keep up intimate relationships between husband in wife, make sure the household has two computers. And if the Internet goes out, assign each other different wall in your home, on which you can write messages to each other.

   In the real world, I’ve found that, especially since I turned thirteen, that friendships can be disappointing. We must Face the fact: we don’t want to be alone or bored: we want to be Booked. Let us enter teh Twilight Zone of friendship online, and you will find that you start to understand what people are talking about when you see them in person.

    And if you take any of the above seriously, you really don’t meet the criteria for a reader of this blog. I am not against Facebook; I hope I don’t join any time soon, but I think some things about it are very beneficial; and who knows, Maybe I had the same thing for breakfast that you had. (And yes, I know, running a blog is no better).

By the way, here’s a neat, and fair, artical on the subject.

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  1. re: calvin, calvinists, and calvinism « Flinding’s Weblog

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