much ado about [absolutely] nothing

When I grow up, I want to be everyone. Because Everyone’s special.

Then again, Everyone is going to die someday. So never mind.

Instead, I’d like to be Nobody. Because Nobody’s perfect.

And Nobody’s more important than I.

But Nobody really likes Obama.

And Everyone’s vote counts.

But Nobody is going to live forever, so i guess I’ll be him.

~

“Yep. It’s round.” Yuri Gagarin

Revelation scholars recently revealed that the battle of Armageddon will be in area code 666.

Furthermore, conscientious Christians are now having Muslims and Democrats drive them around, for fear that the rapture should leave their vehicles without controllers.

Disappointed French Noblemen declares salt an unsavory seasoning for anything involving snails.

Justin Bieber spurns fame by rejecting “Female Vocalist of the Year” award.

Automatic settings for Android operating system self-develops a homage app for whenever in the presence of Apple counterparts.

The Political Activists were recently in absolute upheaval over the Governments plan to subsidize the TEA party movement. Keynote speakers protest the motion and enjoy vintage.

XM radio is a Sirius thing.

Sugar-free corn syrup is escalating in popularity.

The last leg of the caterpillar is always the longest.

Obama ran for President. The President ran for the cliff. Where is the cliff running?

Deodorant company decides to cut bit about “Michael Jordan River” from TV ad.

The census bureau started counting sheep. Their efficiency has plummeted.

I’m taking an online course in Gymnastics. These are so easy, why isn’t everyone doing this?

Motto for learner’s permit: Where the rubber meets the road, the bumper meets the bark.

We’ve got Rocking chairs, Rapping Paper, but the whole singing Veggies thing gives me the creeps.

Why doesn’t anyone hear of the overweight boxing championship?

Norse Ballerina Academy shown to have been around long before the modern NBA. wins lawsuit.

My devil’s advocate was fired for eating chips off my shoulder.

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